Monday, 23 June 2008

It felt just like it was the start of forever

Yesterday, I was alerted to the fact that Ash are going to play a gig in September that will consist of the whole of their 1977 album.

Just the thought made me light headed with giddiness.

I don’t think there is an album that brings me back to my sixth form days as much as this one. Just the first few bars of Angel Interceptor, or the thumping chorus of Girl From Mars is enough to transport me back to a time when I wore denim shirts, had perfectly round, horn rimmed glasses, kit kat’s cost 35p, and whether the crush du jour looked at me during assembly was the biggest worry of the day. Oh, and I had the same hair cut. Some things will never change.

My first introduction to Ash was when I discovered two male friends in the common room wetting themselves with laughter at some cd they’d recently acquired. They dragged me over to have a listen. They weren’t actually listening to any of the songs. As countless other teenage males up and down the country were no doubt doing, they were listening to the “secret bonus” bit at the end where Tim Wheeler et al are audibly throwing up following over-indulgence in alcohol type beverages. Classy. Despite this, I still managed to develop the biggest crush on Tim, which followed me to uni where B and I would try not to visibly drool whilst stalking a Tim Wheeler lookalike, who we creatively nicknamed “Ash”.

I don’t think 1977 is anywhere close to being one of the best albums ever made, but it never fails to take me back to one of the best times of my life. My sixth form days taught me that learning could be fun, that good friendships are one of the most amazing things anyone can have, and that boys who play guitars are hot. For those reasons, this album will always have a special place in my heart, and despite the fact that the old muscles and joints are not what they used to be, come September, I shall be down there at the front, singing and bouncing along with all the other late 20’s/early 30’s city dwellers, and imagining that I am back in the year of 1996 when anything was possible.


Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Make no mistake, I am a city girl

I think I was the victim of bullying today.

I was having a stressful day in the office (like any other day) and needed to get out for some air. I work in the middle of a park so I took my lunch and set off on a stroll round the lake. Whilst admiring the lovely flora and fauna and thinking very bad thoughts about various people I work with, I spotted some little baby ducks quacking on the water. I got out my sandwiches and as I don’t like eating crusts (yes, I know my hair will never go curly if I don’t eat my crusts – that’s the whole point) I threw bits of crust to the little baby ducks. Within a millisecond, I was suddenly surrounded by the whole duck, geese, swan and pigeon population of the UK. They were all there, right in front of me, behind me, hovering above me, walking around me, all looking at me with their nasty evil eyes. I’ve always been unnerved by birds. I think it’s something to do with their eyes and how they don’t blink – they just stare like some psychopathic mass murderer. They all encircled me like a renegade gang out for blood and bread.

I panicked, screamed, threw my whole sandwich at them and ran away. The two Goths sitting on a bench nearby looked unamused. I went back to my office, bought some soup and ate it at the safety of my desk. No more nature for me.

Monday, 16 June 2008

Bleeding love

After seeing the Mystery Jets supporting Maximo Park last month, I was very sure I was not a fan. However, they recently played on Radio 1’s Live Lounge and did a cover of Leona Lewis. Literally, it made me melt. Were it not for my amazing go-go-gadget solidify-and-reassemble-back-to-original-state powers, I would still be a gooey mess on the floor.
Check it out soon – I’m not sure how long Radio 1 keep these clips online. If you need my go-go-gadget help to reassemble yourself, just send the signal.


Sunday, 15 June 2008

Into the fire

So, after some deliberation, I have decided to jump on the bandwagon and sign up to one of those online dating thingys. I've always tried to encourage single friends of mine to do it, often using my friends L and M who met online and are getting married next year as proof that it really can work. I always tell sceptics that she had to date quite a few frogs to get to her Prince Charming (I loved hearing her stories about the frogs the next day!) but she did get there in the end, and they're one of the lovliest couples that I know (I know - pukedom or what?). So it's probably about time that I took my own advice and joined in the hellish hellsville of "dating".

I emailed one of the BFF's two pictures of me to get her opinion on which one was the better at saying: this girl is young, sexy and fun, enjoys staying in and going out, and is not a bunny boiler. Instead of making a decision of her own based on her own opinions, she proceeded to show the pictures to her two male flatmates, and asked for their view. The feedback received was that one of the pictures suggested I was fun, but perhaps too much fun. What does that mean?!

I chose to use that picture. I think I would rather attract boys who are looking for too much fun as opposed to those who are looking for simple, regular fun. I'm already pimping myself out. Why not go the whole hog whilst I'm at it? Sophisticated and demure has never been my style. So all that is left to do now is sit and wait for messages from wacky, fun-seeking guys...and wait...and wait...and wait...

Friday, 13 June 2008

Knight in shining Seat Ibiza

Last night, I

Watched very cool independent short film. Drank own bodyweight in wine. Talked rubbish at the director. Stumbled out of pub. Bought hot dog from hot dog stand. Ate hot dog on street. Got on tube. Fell asleep on tube. Got woken up in Mordor where the train terminates. Waited for northbound train. Got told by station attendant that the last train had gone. Went outside. Called Jane. Looked for night bus. Failed to find night bus. Continued talking rubbish to Jane. Went to KFC. Counted out pennies in KFC and bought hot wings and popcorn chicken. Went outside. Talked to Jane. Choked on chicken bone. Rich came and drove me home.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Things I learnt this week that I wish I hadn’t

  • I am not flexible enough to put my legs behind my head.
  • Attempting to put my legs behind my head will result in me being in intense pain and not being able to move my head or neck for several days.
  • I have the singing voice of a man.
  • Charlie the mouse has a savoury tooth and has nibbled his way through a box of my crackers in my kitchen.
  • Mickey the mouse who lives in my office, has a sweet tooth and likes chocolate and peanut butter.
  • The email that I got from Guinness telling me that I have won a million pounds is in fact a scam.
  • A million pounds is no longer enough to live a millionaires lifestyle. The interest on a million pounds is only around £30k a year. You would actually need around 12 million pounds in order to live the kind of life you would associate with a millionaire.
  • I will never be able to live a millionaire’s lifestyle.
  • The boy who used to make me go weak at the knees has recently moved in with his new girlfriend.
  • Labels:

    Monday, 2 June 2008

    Falling out of reach

    This is one of the most perfect pop songs ever. Pure aural bliss. It's the musical equivalent of sinking back into your hammock on a lazy sunny day with a bucket of gin and tonic and not a care in the world. And with Sir Ian McKellen in the video, what more could you want? It's yet another reason to love the impeccably named Fyfe Dangerfield.