Monday, 26 May 2008


I’ve been getting down recently due to my failings at so many things. And what might these things be I hear you ask. Actually I bet no one is asking this. You’re more likely to be screaming: shut up and get to the point already. Well, this is actually things that I’ve imposed upon myself. A while ago, BFF1, BFF2 and I all decided that we would compose a “List of things to do” affectionately known as “The TODO”. As well as being a merging of the words, to do, it was around the time that the first Lord of the Rings film was released and we thought we were deliciously clever as Todo rhymes with Frodo. Ah, the sweet smell of adolescent idiocy. Except, we were in our twenties. We were just desperately immature. Still are.

But I digress. The TODO has been hanging like a heavy anvil round my neck for some time. The big 30 looms ever nearer and I’m aware that there are many things on my TODO that seem impossible to achieve before the day. This isn’t to say that the items on the list are things like trekking to the South Pole with only a tin of tuna and a flask of hot milk for sustenance. Or writing the most amazing novel of all time, winning a Pulitzer, and signing a million dollar deal with Hollywood for the film rights. No. One of the items on the TODO is: Get a driving license.

This one shouldn’t seem like such a big deal. Most people achieve this when they still have acne and a part time job stacking shelves at Morrisons whilst doing a bit of studying for A levels. I however, decided to wait til 10 years later, when I am skint, when prices have gone up, when I am more aware of the potential to kill people than in my careless teens, and when I’m living in the city with the most crazed and psychotic drivers in the world. I like a challenge. I also seem to like moving the steering wheel from side to side like they do in the 1950s films, causing my instructor to scream in a worrying way. I’m very concerned that this TODO item will not be crossed off for quite some time.

We do seem to be living in target obsessed times. Nowadays, everyone seems to have a list of things to do. I’m a huge fan of lists, but usually they relax me and I get a sense of calm joy at seeing things in neat lines. But this one just sends me into panic.

One of the BFFs is currently miserable at work, having to deal with the general difficulties of her job as well as the mountains of paperwork and bureaucracy that the government has introduced so they can monitor whether their unrealistic and pointless targets are being met. The pressure to deliver what shouldn’t be required in the first place is making her ill.

Targets and deadlines are bad enough in the workplace. Why introduce them into your personal life? Why do we need markers to validate what we’re doing? What’s wrong with just getting on and doing what we want to do instead of setting unrealistic targets and making ourselves miserable in the process.

So with that, I am dispensing with the TODO. I don’t believe that it adds any value to my life and maybe, once it has gone, I will stop beating myself up that I cannot drive, that I can not knit anything other than long straight things, and that I cannot say more than 3 words in Spanish.

Phew. I can feel the weight lifting from my shoulders already. I think I’ll make a list of yummy things to eat to celebrate.


Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Tick tock

I swear, I got pangs in my ovaries just looking at this picture. I may be investing in a turkey baster of my very own soon...