Texts in my inbox, volume 1

• That's nice. Poke the infected eye then touch the other one.

• There are some nice looking boys...and beer. This is a good Friday night entertainment.

• Swyddfa!!! One ginger on the train half tipsy!

• Glasto was amazing just wish I had started going earlier. Def going next year. Failed dramatically with the she pee.
  

• Pants. Can you cut off a bit of his hair for me as a keepsake?

• I want to go home and boil myself clean.

• No I've got bacon feet

• Someone's got penis envy...

• Bloody hell. Have you been at home all day watching the Wire instead of going to work?!

• Merry Smurfday!

• My brain hurts

• But I'm like a good red wine...I'm getting better with age.

• Deal. Are we called Sex Panther? Or All rock and no roll? Even though we'd prob just be all roll. It could be ironic and therefore awesome.

• Iw roper drunk and fveked i need help

• I'm working on perfecting margaritas...the fun is in the journey.

• It's ok my dad's a fish.

• Just been stopped and handed a mag about noah and god! She told me to read it and learn how to be saved. Do i look like i need to be saved?!